I say this with love ………….. ???

I had a lovely weekend, my son, daughter in law and baby visited (in the garden with social distancing adhered to), it was hard with no physical contact, because I just want to pick baby Albie up and kiss him all over, but that will have to wait.  Then the rest of the weekend was spent gardening and pottering around the house.

Sunday, I was back on the treadmill starting week 2 of the Couch to 5k NHS plan.    Felt quite proud that this middle-aged lump ran 2.8k in 30 minutes.   Anyway, all good so far.  Then Sunday evening my left knee locked, the pain was excruciating.  Honestly, I have never felt anything like it. I couldn’t straighten nor bend it, I gave in and took some paracetamol which took the edge off, but I was still in pain, then it happened …….  Husband was being really sympathetic, then blew it with the immortal words ‘well you are carrying a lot of weight, so no wonder your knee has given up the ghost’!      He never mentions my weight, ever, but then bought it up again this morning.  Like I don’t feel like shit enough to now have to deal with words. which, I know were not meant to be cruel (he is not that way) but just a flippant remark.   The reason why it hit a nerve, is because I know it to be true, but I just don’t like or need to be told I am fat.  Oh ladies, I am revisiting the Tarot Food Plan and the diet books are back out of the cupboard.  Maybe secretly it is a good thing he said those words, because it has made me take a long hard look at myself and try and be more mindful of what I eat.  Lock-down is a cruel state of affairs especially if you have little or no willpower, it is like a passport to do and eat what you like but as I said in my previous musing, we are one or the other.  I now have to be more of the ‘other’ and take advantage of this time and sort myself out.     Just to be clear, I will always ‘diet’ for me and never under pressure from anyone.   But it seems that now the time is right.  Here we go again.